My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
