Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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