Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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