On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
