He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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