I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
