There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
