it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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