CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
