bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
