i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
