New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
