To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
