Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
