3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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