the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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