her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
