He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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