I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
