its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
