went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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