The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
