well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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