We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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