Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
