They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
