I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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