I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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