Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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