I didn't shave. On purpose
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
