she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
