Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
