dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
