hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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