Sponge bath it is.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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