Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
