I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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