Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
