did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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