is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
