Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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