dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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