Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
