We're like a lot better than the average bears
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
