Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
