what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
