Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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