help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Farmville is her only friend.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He passed out mid-signature
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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