Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
