in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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