She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
