Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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