I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
