She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
nutella sex= disaster
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
