You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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